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“Could you taste this for me, please?” The chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid around and swallows it. “Does that taste sweet to you?” says Paddy. “No, not at all” says the chemist. “Oh that’s a relief” says Paddy. “The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar”.“Your honour” a defence attorney began “I have a series of witnesses that can testify that Mr. Johnson was nowhere near the part of the crime when it occurred”. The judge looked at the defence table and said “This is the third time you’ve been in this court room this week, and I’m getting sick of hearing your lies”. The offender stood up with a confused expression and said “Your honour, you must be mistaken. I’ve never been here in my life”. Waving his finger, the judge replied “I was referring to your lawyer”.You can tell a lot about a person by their car. For example: if it’s in a ditch, it’s a woman’s.Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon. The first night Gary spends six. Angie would get her tan before the summer's steamy heat would drive us back indoors, but it was still April and Spring break gave us plenty of time to laze about in and around the pool.The morning it happened, I was overly horny, not having "wanked" for two days. I rarely came out in the morning, preferring to sleep until nearly noon; but this time, it was barely 9:30 when I decided to wander to the pool, barefoot and silent.There was Angie, working on her tan, but wait! I froze in rapt fascination (again) when the buzzer rang in my mind - Angie was lying on her stomach, topless, and the scene she presented was a duplicate of the one I saw in last Winter's stag movie.Truth be told, Angie could not compare to the megatits that the girl in the stag movie sported, but on her stomach, she looked identical. (Besides, I wasn't overly infatuated with huge tits. I liked normal ones.)Before I knew what I was doing, I acted out what I saw in the movie, only I brought baby oil.Angie must have.
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